Graduate School #5 (Summer Edition): Final Grade and Reflection on the Summer Session

     Folklore Fiancé and I both ended up taking summer courses over the past few weeks, which is why I have been less than attentive to some of my social media until recently. We were both working nearly every day on our lessons and assignments, so the summer has gone by much quicker than usual. The reason I ended up taking a summer course was that I had only taken two classes during my first semester at Villanova, with permission to have the third course I would have had that semester during the following summer. The courses that were offered over the summer were only Latin-based courses, one of which I would have taken (an accelerated Latin course for a refresher, which I definitely need at some point) if it had counted towards my Master's program. Alas, it didn't, so I was in the course Roman Drama.
     Since I focus specifically on the Civilization aspect, I take most of my courses in translation, so part of the class was reading Seneca's Medea in Latin and translating as they went. All the other plays we read, everyone read in translation, though, because we had to read them before the following week and no one would have had time to translate that much material in so little time. (If you can do that, please tell me your secrets.) I thoroughly enjoyed all of the plays (despite how gruesome some of them were - yikes) and I had never read any of Seneca's writing, so this was all new for me.
     The whole time was a blur, really. My class was during one of the days I have off (since I work in a museum, my "weekend" is Monday/Tuesday) so I was basically not home the entire seven weeks I had class. The summer consisted of me waking up with my Fiancé, making breakfast, and getting ready for the day. There was a lot of Starbucks stops, then library trips, and sitting in the computer center at the college while I waited for my Fiancé to be done with their classes.
     This worked out particularly well for me, as I would do my homework and readings while I waited for my Fiancé to finish class; my class overlapped with the time they were in Political Science, so often I would be finished at the same time. The only issue we ever had was when they got out of class early - so what I would end up doing is sign in to the Zoom meeting on my phone so that we could go home, and I'd keep my internet signal the whole way there while my classroom was essentially in my pocket while I wore earbuds (our house is just down the street from their college). I was able to attend all the meetings with relative ease, save for a couple of internet connectivity mishaps.
     The most frustrating part of this course was having to try and fit in time to research and write a 7-8 page paper in less than a week. At first, I wanted to focus on the crime and punishment aspect of the plays, tie it into law, and see if the law was reflected well in the plays with a comparison of ancient Greek laws and ancient Roman laws in the corresponding Euripides plays with Seneca. Unfortunately, the lack of time or the lack of resources made this an impossible route to take, so I ended up meeting with my professor (who I adored and hope I get to take another course with again), and changed the main idea of my paper. So, I essentially had to begin my research all over again.
     After I had changed the subject matter, I took to Twitter to ask for recommendations, and as always, Classics Twitter came through, and I had plenty of references to use for my paper. The paper I wrote ended up focusing on Medea's position as a metic woman and how this affected her actions in both the Euripides and the Seneca plays. I speak extensively about this in an upcoming YouTube video, so I won't outline it here, but the gist of it is the way that Medea's status as a metic woman and how women were expected to act created a prejudice against Medea before she was even really a "monster." The aspects I covered were marriage, motherhood, and murder; it was challenging to squish all of it together in a 7-8 page paper, and I would like to expand it at some point.
     Once the class was officially over, the worst part was yet to come: waiting for my grades. I try to be patient, but I'm such an anxious mess over the grades I get in coursework, not knowing what they are for the entire time of class makes waiting for the final grade so much worse for me. The past week I was an anxious mess, knowing my grade would be posted by Friday. Everyone around me was very reassuring about how they were certain I would have an A in the bag, so I shouldn't fret, but because I didn't have any check-ins on the way, so until it was a sure thing, I was going to be anxious. On top of that, I applied to a potential new paid position, and I should hear back from them soon as well. A lot of the end of July and early August has been me waiting to see how things are going to end up.
     My grade was posted yesterday.
     I got an A. 

50% to M.A. in Classical Studies Complete

Graduate School #4: Final Grades and Reflection on the Second Semester

     A lot has happened this past semester. A lot of good, and a lot of bad. My uncle passed away at the beginning of the semester, and I was devastated. I had seen him when I went home for Christmas, and I am glad I decided to go with my family for the visit because that was the last time I would ever see him. It was impossible for me to do anything from Las Vegas because he was in New Jersey, and I couldn't afford to fly back home again. He was one of my biggest allies for both my gender identity as a non-binary transgender person and for my sexuality as a pansexual person. He was one of the people who finally got my family to use "they" pronouns. I'm going to miss him terribly. It took a lot out of me, and I decided to throw myself as much into my work and coursework as possible to distract myself.
     This semester was particularly challenging because Ancient Historiography was the most challenging course I have ever taken. I thought History of Latin Literature was difficult, but I found Ancient Historiography to be far worse for me. The subject matter was not the issue in particular, but it was the sheer amount of information that I was expected to take in for each week. The course load was overwhelming to me, and I felt like I did not retain a lot of it because there was just so much to read and absorb, both primary and secondary sources, that I felt buried under the assignments. Each week was over 100 pages of reading, and as much as I am interested in the content, the presentation of the content made it tough to get through without frustration. The most foreboding message should have been the fact that I obtained a lot of my historiography textbooks from a co-worker who gave them to me with the statement, "My historiography course was when I discovered that I didn't want to be a historian." Yay free books! was probably why I didn't heed her warning as much as I should have.
     The course itself was enjoyable. The professor was helpful and made the material engaging during the lectures; it was the homework that really did me in with this course. We had a lot of different things to do, but I was just relieved when I did not have to do more than a final paper (we had four assignments total for it: an annotated bibliography, a presentation, a rough draft of our final, and the final paper) due for the course. I find it much more difficult when I have to worry about both a final paper and a final exam. I also find I'm much more likely to retain material we focused on in the class through a final paper because I'm working on it over a more extended period of time, whereas with an exam, I feel like my anxiety makes me forget everything as soon as the final exam has been completed.
     The topic I had for my final paper was epic and historiography. This was a broad topic in general, but I thought I had found a way to narrow it down with fate and hubris of the players in both epic and historiography in relation to how they interpreted the oracles and prophecies given to them. However, this was still apparently too broad because I did not focus intently on only a few texts and ended up having a pretty frazzled paper that jumped between too many sources, according to the feedback of my professor. I had even taken a week off of work to be able to focus my energy on finals, and I was spending the majority of my time in both the college library by my house and the public libraries in other parts of town.
     Roman Elegy was far more interesting to me, and although there was a lot to read, I was able to handle the assignments much more easily. The assignments were a lot of poems and secondary source readings, but the poems weren't too difficult to get through. The only real issue I had was reading the poems in translation and not knowing for sure what the meaning of the poem was; sometimes the translations are using language that is supposed to evoke the original Latin meaning, but it took a lot of analysis and finding extra complimentary readings to help me understand the material better. I could have also read the original Latin, but as I was taking the course in translation, I found it to be less time-consuming to find other analyses in addition to my assigned readings.
     The final for Roman Elegy ended up being one of my favorite papers thus far: it was an analysis of the offerings to the goddess Venus in Roman elegiac poetry, for which I only found four specific sacrifice or offerings mentioned explicitly in all of the elegiac poetry (all of which I read through in case we did not go over the poem during class) and then compared it to how and what sacrifices and offerings the Romans gave to the goddess Venus according to their religion. As religion in the ancient world is one of my main research interest, I was excited to pursue this as I had not really come across any publications thus far with a similar subject, so most of my sources were material culture reports, books, textbooks, and only a few articles. It took me a long time to get it finished, but overall I was pleased with the final result of the paper, which is more than I can say about the Ancient Historiography paper, which I was just relieved to be finished and never have to think about again (at least, probably, until I either tried to rework the paper for publication, or when I begin my Ph.D. program).
     The real challenge towards the end of the semester was trying to catch up on my Tuition Scholar work because I fell behind due to nonsense at work on top of trying to keep up with my assignments in general. I managed to do a gargantuan amount of work in a few weeks (one assignment left that I will be tackling tonight or tomorrow) because of the other obstacles. Once I had 99% of that completed, I felt extremely relieved.
     The wait for my grades for this semester was not as long as it was in the Fall because my Ancient Historiography course ended on a Thursday and the grades were posted on the following Monday. I was anxious the entire time because again I did not know where I stood in the courses because there were no grades along the way, but I managed to end the semester with an A in Roman Elegy and an A- in Ancient Historiography (a higher grade than I expected, to be quite honest). So, I did not manage to preserve my 4.0 that I began my Classical Studies program with, but a 3.92 is not that bad to have!
     My next course is Roman Drama, which I'm taking over the summer, after which I'll officially be halfway done my degree! I'm excited to see what that course will be like and I think it'll be a little easier for me to tackle as the only course for that semester. The most challenging semester will be Fall because I will be taking three classes and working full-time. I think I've gotten used to what I need to do with my courses and work life to make it balance and taking the vacation time for my research was a good idea. I think what I need to do when I have the courses in the Fall is I might have to take a little bit more vacation time than I'm used to taking, but because I don't really take vacation time off, I should be able to handle it. I just have to plan everything for it. I'm excited and anxious, as always, and am [im]patiently waiting for the course materials and textbooks to be listed so I can get started on the next part of my education adventure. 

40% to M.A. in Classical Studies Complete

Graduate School #3: Final Grades and Reflection on the First Semester

     Now that I am back from vacation and my grades are finally posted, I thought it would be good to kick off the new year with a reflection of my first semester as a graduate student at Villanova University. One of the pressures, aside from the normal wow I'm in grad school, how do I do this, help me!!! as I went through my first semester, was the fact that I am a Tuition Scholar. Although graduate students are required to keep a 3.0 GPA at a minimum, Tuition Scholars are encouraged to work beyond that, so they are not just meeting the minimum standard, but reflect the reason why they were chosen as Tuition Scholars. This makes perfect sense to me, and I was actually surprised that it was not just a requirement for me to have no less than a 3.5 GPA, so I set a goal for myself to try and keep the highest GPA I could possibly have; I've achieved 4.0 semesters before, so I thought it may not be that hard.
     I was wrong.
     It was definitely an achievable goal, but not without many late nights staying after work that ended in my office to read or type an essay, tears from frustration or stress or anger or all of the above, or from having to neglect other duties that I should be on top of but just could not do both my homework and that particular responsibility. It would not have been possible without encouraging friends and coworkers, a drive that many people have described as a little too much, and undying support from my lovely Folklore Fiancé, who put up with every meltdown I had this semester with an amazing amount of patience. Folklore Fiancé was also the one cooking my meals for me, doing laundry on their days off, and taking care of our cats when I stayed late at the office. I would not have made it through the first semester of this program without them, and I know that. I'm eternally grateful to everyone who has supported me throughout these past few months because I know it's been quite a time to be around me.
     I work full-time at a museum as well as take courses full-time. It can be overwhelming. One of the advantages I have right now is that, for the most part, my supervisors are really supportive of me getting my education, especially because I'm a Tuition Scholar. If I weren't, I would have only been able to cover the first year of my program for sure, but I wasn't sure what I would have done for the second year of the program. Honestly, the Tuition Scholarship is really the only reason I was so keen on getting it done now and why I wanted to work harder on my course assignments. Luckily, as I said, I have a supportive wealth of people, and one of the advantages of my position at work is if we aren't too busy, I was allowed to read or do homework at the desk while I waited for guests and if I was not assisting a curator with something.
     It was overwhelming. More than once I'd find myself staring at the readings and not absorbing anything. Some of the readings made me wonder how someone could take such a fascinating subject - such as Pompeii - and turn it into such a dry and hard-to-swallow text I had to trudge my way through. Many of the readings I had were interesting, but some days I was so burnt out from work that I just gave up and went home and told myself I'll try again tomorrow. I learned a lot of things about myself, though. I definitely know that there are better ways for me to study. I know how to speed read like a demon if I need to, even though I'm dyslexic. I got over my anxiety of highlighting directly in the books (I used to take notes by hand, but I found that now, I don't have the time for that - so, highlighting it was! I just didn't use to like doing it in case I sold my book back or wanted to read it later...but, I'm keeping all my books now, so I'll be doing that from now on).
     I also learned that there was a lot I didn't know about Pompeii and Herculaneum and the more I explore the ancient world - like when I was in Bulgaria and was unaware that they had both ancient Greek and Roman sites to see - the more I realize I have so much more to learn. (Insert philosophy joke here). Even though I had been to Pompeii before, I hadn't really learned about Herculaneum in depth yet, and I didn't even know about other cities that were also buried by Mt. Vesuvius until I took this course. The History of Latin Literature had me read so much that I was unfamiliar with because I didn't go very far in Latin as an undergraduate, so I barely remember what I read aside from Catullus because he was my favorite when I first read him.
     My Pompeii and Herculaneum class was a fun class, but it involved so much reading. My textbooks all together probably amount to nearly 1,200 pages. And we read most of them. (Well, we were assigned to read most of them; I may have fallen behind once or twice). That doesn't include the articles we had to read or the peer blogs we were encouraged to read. Each week, we made blog posts about the most interesting topic in the reading and discuss it - that meant I was reading outside material relevant to coursework that wasn't assigned as well. They were fascinating articles, though, and I don't regret it at all! But it was a lot of reading. We also had a report andPowerPointint presentation we had to prepare outside of our exams. We had a Midterm and a "Final Project" which was just a paper with an accompanying PowerPoint to reference the images we mentioned in our final paper. I was extremely worried about my final because I worked on it for a long time, but it still didn't feel right. I turned it in anyway because I worked on it for so long that I had to stop and make myself work on my History of Latin Literature final exam study guide.
     History of Latin Literature was another story. That course was difficult for me. One of the things that I think was the most frustrating and intimidating, as I have mentioned before, is that many of my classmates are already Latin teachers; they're getting their M.A. probably to further their education, and it might help them get a promotion or a pay raise, which is all very admirable! But I'm coming in right out of a Museum Studies M.A. program with three-five years without practicing Ancient Greek and Latin on the daily. So, I'm reading things in translation because that's honestly how I managed to be as good as I am because I don't struggle through hours of translation that I know will trip me up - do I read things in Latin later, just for fun, to see if I can do it? Yes, but I know the aptitude level I have would not allow me to do it as fast as I would like to during the semester, so I chose the Classical Civilizations track.
     Even reading in translation, though, the History of Latin Literature was probably my most challenging course I have ever taken. There was so much information; we learned about so many authors, and if you read their writing, you have to know about their contemporaries and the politics of the time they were writing and the religious feelings at the time. Some of the writers were keen on writing about the gods, but others were atheistic to a point where their writing could be categorized as sacrilege to those who still worshipped the Roman gods. On top of the extensive readings we had, since I was reading in translation, one of my extra assignments was to write a one page summary of what I've read as well as a critique of the work. A lot of this was difficult for me as the translations were often from open sources, so the translations were a little out of date for me (I would have probably been better off just reading in Latin in some cases; at least, that's how it felt). Honestly, the most influential thing when reading some of these translations was "ugh okay, I'm adding this on things I'd like to translate in the future," which is something I've never done before. The other main assignments were probably what stressed me out most: a week where we led the discussion (that's getting its own paragraph), a midterm exam, a final exam, and a final paper.
     That was probably the most overwhelming thing because I had gone through an entire M.A. program where we didn't really have final exams until we had our Comprehensive Examinations and it was all smooshed into one assignment that you only have two weeks to do. I had lost the skills I had at test-taking. Or at least, I was really rusty. So, not only did I have all of these assignments looming over me, but I had exams to worry about on top of them. One of the things I was looking forward to, though, was the week that I got to lead the discussion.
     Each student had to sign up through OneNote for their discussion. I was so excited because I was one of the first people to sign up, so I got Catullus like I wanted. I was stoked to be able to lead the discussion with the article that we had to read, which addresses how Catullus presents himself as both male and female in his poetry (by Roman standards). As a non-binary person, I found this fascinating and wondered if this was part of why I always felt drawn to him over other Latin writers; so, for one of the questions I decided to address to the class, I asked if gender and sex affected their reading of Catullus's poems, because I could relate to Catullus on both fronts, from both a female aspect and a male aspect, since I'm non-binary and can be a little wibbly-wobbly on my gender. However, everyone skipped that question and went on to answer the other ones. Next time, I may do what a friend suggested and only have that type of question so that they will have to answer it. I just don't know if I'm able or ready to try and do that, though. It was super disappointing that no one addressed it, even though I did try and bring up during the actual class discussion (the first discussion was a post in Teams on Office so we could do a comment thread discussing the questions), but that was pretty much ignored, too. (Also, somehow, I didn't know the sparrow was a euphemism, but I learned me a thing that day in class when I was leading the discussion).
     Either way, I'm still glad I got to talk about Catullus and was even more impressed that the professor took it upon herself to send me an e-mail to let me know that there may be triggering material in Catullus and Ovid. I've never had a professor do that without prompting before (one of my undergraduate professors I had for a fantasy literature course assigned a book about a child of rape, and I had to send her an e-mail saying that it was going to take me longer to read because it was triggering for me and she was very understanding), so I was thoroughly impressed that she took the initiative to warn us before we read the material, even though most of us had already read or been exposed to it. Anyway, I'm going to talk about the rest of the challenges in this course because writing all of that has made me Very Tired.
     The exams were nerve-wracking to me because I had to study and make study guides for so many different authors and I wasn't sure what I wanted to include. My exam guides were super long (I believe my final exam study guide was a little over 100 pages) and I was a wreck the entire time I was studying. I put a lot of pressure on myself to do well, moreso than anyone else does, and I know that, but I don't know how not to do that, you know? So, once I had finished and turned in my final project for Pompeii and Herculaneum, I started to work on my final study guide. I took the final and freaked out the whole time because a couple things happened that made my anxiety skyrocket: 1. I couldn't remember the secondary sources for the second question prompt; I'm never good at remembering them, so I was worried the whole time it would take too many points away. 2. My internet connection lapsed, and it kicked me off for a minute or two, so I got scared and startled that I wouldn't be able to reconnect. And 3. I realized that my final exam paragraphs were shorter than my midterm paragraphs, so I wondered if I had written enough (spoiler alert: I had). As soon as I finished the exam, I tried to pull all my stuff together for my final paper.
     Writing the final paper was one of the more difficult things I've done. I was trying to write something about parenthood of the gods being represented differently in the different genres and how their attitude towards their godly children and mortal children differed using Plautus, Vergil, and Ovid as my prime examples. I felt like I said so much and nothing at the same time and I was terrified when I turned it in, but I was told that the material was good, so I just let it go. The only thing left after that was to wait around for my grades because what else was I going to do with myself?
     One of the problems I had the entire semester, however, was that I didn't have any grades to reference, so I actually had no idea where I stood (officially) in either of my classes until near the end of the semester. I had e-mailed my Latin professor to ask her where I stood and she told me I was doing well, but I still didn't actually know my letter grade. I got the majority of my grades posted right before my final paper was due for Pompeii and Herculaneum. Then, I got to see how I was doing in Latin. I had an A in both classes; but, I still didn't know if they would be my final grades, but I prayed that they were.
     Three days ago, my final grades were finally posted, and I kicked off my Classical Studies M.A. with a 4.0 with A's in both courses. I was ecstatic. I was both relieved and not as surprised as I expected to be, but thinking you're going to have an A and actually seeing it on your student record are two very different things and very different feelings. Now, all I have to do is wait [im]patiently for my course books to be posted so I can buy them for the upcoming semester.
     My next courses are Roman Elegy and Historiography. I have all of my Historiography books already, and I've printed out the 88-page article my professor wants us to read before class starts. I have a couple weeks to dig into it, so I'll be trying to do that over the next couple of days. I have no idea about my Elegy course, though, so I suppose I'll just obsessively check the textbook website to see if anything was listed. Here's to a new year, a new semester, and hopefully, another 4.0!

20% to M.A. in Classical Studies Complete               

Graduate School #2: Midterms and Fall Break

     One thing that has never changed for me between undergraduate and graduate school is that realizing that it's time for midterms never fails to shock me. Where did the time go? Didn't time used to go slower than this? I know I've been studying and doing my other assignments, but...it can't be time for midterms already, can it?
     Oh, it can. And it is.
     I'm still flabbergasted. Ever. Single. Time.
     I've finished one of my midterms already, and my other midterm was just released on Sunday, but because I have a full-time job, I was working on Sunday (luckily, during the slow hours I was able to work on a quiz that was due that night and then stayed after work to finish it). Since this "weekend" (this Monday and Tuesday) was Fall Break, I decided I definitely needed a break to step back and let myself breathe for a moment. Folklore Fiancé encouraged me to do so, too, because they indicated that I've been overstressing and overworking myself lately (get yourself an S.O. who's both supportive and not afraid to call you out).
     Since my work schedule is Wednesday-Sunday, going to class on Monday and Tuesday worked perfectly for me, even though I'm in a different time zone. However, Folklore Fiancé reminded me that with this schedule, I really don't have a day off. I'm going, going, going for seven days a week without a break in between. Now, as much as I would like to just focus on my degree and nothing else, I, unfortunately, have a lot of bills to pay and with the position I have now, I'm learning a lot of valuable skills which will be helpful to me both for my Ph.D. program and my professional goals.
     So, I decided that I might look over or perhaps outline some of my midterm this weekend, but I wasn't going to let myself overstress about it. Part of the reason I'm so stressed out is that I'm used to being in programs where I could obsessively check my scores on my assignments, but there's no way for me to see my grades in the system we're currently using, and it's not doing my anxiety any favors. My last program used Canvas, so I was able to see my grades all semester as soon as my professor entered them in and we would see our averages.
     We don't have anything like that in my current program because we're doing everything through OneNote.
     Honestly, I don't mind using OneNote for the courses and assignments. It's a skill I didn't have before and can now say I've mastered, but the lack of access to grades has shot my anxiety through the roof. So, I definitely needed a break, especially after a full week of panicking about my History of Latin Literature exam.
     The last two days have been great. Yesterday, Folklore Fiancé and I got up, went to Starbucks, grabbed some croissants from Albertson's (neither of us is overly fond of the Starbucks food), and had our breakfast in the park. We came home and watched a movie, ate lunch, and I just generally got to spend some time with them without having to worry about work, homework, or class. Today, we got up, and I drove them to an appointment, and then we went on a small adventure. Folklore Fiancé had been craving sushi a lot, so we ventured to Japan Creek (a small Japanese store near us) to get them some good sushi, and we picked up some snacks as well. They ended up getting onigiri with salmon instead and a red bean bun for dessert. I'm allergic to fish, so I didn't get any of that, but I got a chocolate dessert bun, and then we headed to Albertson's (again) to get cases of water, some food for dinner, and then left to get me Capriotti's. (I had begun to get extra cranky by this point because it was past one o'clock and I was hungry). We had Ichiban ramen for dinner with stir-fry beef, Green Tea flavored Hello Panda cookies for dessert, and have been watching YouTube for a few hours.
     Thank the gods for Folklore Fiancé, who reminds me that I need to take a breather every once in a while. I'm recharged and feel more ready to go to work and dive back into my schoolwork tomorrow.

Graduate School #1: The Search, Acceptance, and Impostor Syndrome

     One of the most challenging things for me was finding a graduate program in the Classics. Due to my limited resources and because I currently hold a full-time permanent job in a museum, I was not able to move out of the state for a two-year program. I didn't want to risk not finding another job in my field or trying to figure out where I was going to live once I had completed the program (Folklore Fiancé and I are currently staying with their family). Since I had attended my first Master of Arts program online, I figured that attending a Classics/Classical Studies degree online would be doable as well.

     There was just one issue - I had never heard of any university offer Classics or Classical-related (e.g., Ancient History) graduate degrees online. Sure, some for-profit universities had programs, but I wanted to go to a not-for-profit and well-respected university if I was going to spend all that money for a second degree. There were some schools I considered in the United Kingdom, but I wanted to try and find a school in the United States if I could because international tuition can be brutal. The amount of research I put in to find a degree program that fit my criteria may make some peoples' head spin; one method was opening the Wikipedia lists of universities and colleges in each individual state. Another was going through the list from the Department of Education.

     It was quite time-consuming.

     However, once I had found a few options, I began to e-mail a lot of the department heads and other professors who were in the department. Most of the schools had a graduate program in History, with only a few offerings for ancient courses. All of those programs were general Master of Arts degrees. The University of Georgia offers a Post-Baccalaureate in Classical Languages, so that was one of my options as well, but I was aiming for a full Master's program, so this became my backup plan. I reasoned that if I did not get accepted to any programs, I could enroll in the Post-Bacc to keep up with my field and the next round of applications might go better.

     The discovery of the program at Villanova University felt like a sign from the gods - this was the only non-profit university I found that offered Classical Studies as a distance program. Some of the courses are taught solely online, but others are a mix of in-person students and online students. This sounded like a well-fitted program since the History programs had perhaps two or three courses focusing on ancient historical subject matter, Villanova moved to the top of my list.

     The e-mails I exchanged with Dr. DeNardis about the program made me even more eager to attend the school. I decided that I would apply to both Villanova and the University of Georgia for the Post-Bacc program. I spent the better half of two months going back and forth with two friends who were helping me with my Statement of Purpose for Villanova. Of course, if you follow me here or on any other platform, you know that I've gotten into Villanova. However, there are some interesting in-betweens I haven't elaborated on yet. During my exchange with Dr. DeNardis, I asked if the online students were eligible for the Tuition Scholarship, and she said yes, and I just had to attach a writing sample, so I did (my particular paper was an interdisciplinary paper on Percy Jackson, more on that later).
     Once I had gotten accepted into Villanova, I canceled my application for the University of Georgia Post-Bacc and refocused my energy on the current program I was in and continued to prepare for the archaeological field school I would be attending in the summer. Due to the number of people who applied to the program, I did not receive the Tuition Scholarship. I had other options, which I decided to tackle later (but would have rather not had to resort to loans again). The rest of the semester flew by, and I received my first Master of Arts degree in May. Then, Folklore Fiancé and I had to move during the beginning of the summer, and we got rather busy.
     One fateful day, I was checking my e-mail and saw that during the second round, I had been offered the Tuition Scholarship! I was ecstatic! However, I had missed the e-mail by a week or so, and it was past the deadline that she indicated I should respond. I freaked out, I e-mailed her back, indicated that, yes, please, I would be absolutely ecstatic to receive the scholarship. The next day, I called her office and repeated my plea. Another call and e-mail later, I found that I had still received the scholarship. It was one of the best feelings, knowing I would be able to afford my degree. It was one of the issues I knew I would face if I didn't get the scholarship since Master of Arts degrees aren't usually funded, so I was lucky.
     Before I knew it, I was about to have my first class.
     And I had a violent panic attack about it.
     The longer I was in class, the more I panicked right before my class time started. The people in my courses knew a lot. A lot of them are already Latin teachers and have been for some time; this made me feel like I was really out of my element. (Even though I know there is a lot more of Latin to explore, and the Roman empire was quite a long period of time, I do know more about Greek history and literature than I do for Roman...) My classmates are quite intelligent, which makes sense, but I felt extremely odd being in class with them. I felt like I couldn't contribute anything. I felt like I didn't know enough.
     I felt like an impostor.
     It had been quite a while since the last time I felt impostor syndrome. Apparently, there are different types of "impostors," and according to the way I am, I'm something called "The Expert." Once I started opening up about it, though, a lot of my friends (especially one who is in Scotland for her Paleontology Ph.D.!) were reassuring. So, remember, if you're a student at any level and feel like you don't deserve what you've been given (me, with my Tuition Scholarship when I heard my classmates in discussion) or that you feel like you should know more:

• You're a student for a reason, you're not supposed to know everything yet! Just study hard and do your best.
• You deserve your scholarship/funding/internship - you were given it for a reason. Keep up the good work!

     It's taken me a little time, and I'm working on it, but I know I belong there. There's a reason I was accepted into the university. There's a reason why I received the scholarship, even if it was in the second round. I just have to remind myself of my goals and why I'm there. I'm a student. I'm not supposed to know everything yet. This is a chance for me to learn, grow, better myself, and possibly discover new parts of the ancient world that interest me that I didn't get exposed to as an undergrad. Things can only improve from here!